I’m tired

I am about a week into one of the worst flare ups of my life and I don’t know if I actually have anything of substance to say other than I’m in pain and tired and frustrated because I can’t do ANYTHING.

I can barely even walk to the bathroom and I’m restricting my water intake just so I don’t have to use the toilet as often. I feel lonely and isolated because nobody gets it, I gotta rely on my parents to get me everything.

I have started to be sick most days which might be a bad reaction to tramadol but there’s also a small chance I might be pregnant (God forbid). I’m tired man. I miss when I was healthy and okay. It’s not fair.

At the beginning of August I got signed off work for a month but I’m due to start again in about a week and I have nooooo idea how I’ll manage that, like at all, and I feel terrible. Work is a whole other issue where my manager has discriminated against me and threatened me with losing my job, doesn’t let me sit down etc. I don’t know if I can handle it even if I’m magically physically able by Sunday.

I need better meds that actually help and a job that is tolerant and allows me to work from home. I have next to no hope. Not to be dramatic but this illness has ruined my life.